Do you chose life or do you settle?

Have you ever woken up, and stared at your bedroom ceiling thinking - what on earth am I doing with my life? Yes? Well guess what, me to and we’re most certainly not alone in this.

I can’t say for sure (as I’ve never researched it) however from speaking to friends, acquaintances and beyond, I can speak confidently when I say, on the whole, there are an awful lot of people out there - wondering just that. However they have no plans to change it up, and see it as the only option through life. Whenever I come across people who think this way - I don’t try and change them, I try and understand why society has been so cruel to us, to make us believe that we aren’t capable of doing both what we love and having a successful career, because apparently, the two can’t go together.

I want to know why we are told this terribly misleading narrative. And why money, status and materialistic items are put far higher up the agenda than contentment, happiness, passion and purpose. Because I know a lot of people who have none of the attributes of these four aforementioned words as a result of the job and life they are ‘settled in’. Yet they continue day in day out, miserable, unsatisfied, unable to take the time to appreciate these so called fruits of their labour because they deem that society has demanded that that is the ‘right thing’ for them to do. Whatever the ‘right thing’ is or means.

I saw this beautiful quote by Mandy Hale on a friends page recently:

“10 years from now, make sure you can say you CHOSE your life, you didn’t settle for it.”

 and thought how incredibly powerful it was. It was a very poignant reminder to stay AWAKE - be present, and make the most of everyday and not allow oneself to simply sleep walk through life wondering in 10 years how you ended up where you might end up. Because I’m telling you, it happens. I’ve seen it and to an extent, experienced it.

I decided to chose and so can you.

These past two years my life had changed immeasurably (and might I add very much for the better).

Why? Because I decided to make a choice. A choice to follow what the real Taisie Grant wants. Rather than just sleep walk through the mundane, riding around the daily hamster wheel, turning round and round and round, letting life happen to me.

Despite my life changing immeasurably, no way has it been easy. I’ve had some serious doubters, those who you always to trust to support you; and still do. Sceptics who you are sure want to see you fail so you come running back with your tail between your legs. Those who think you’ve gone off and ‘wasted’ you life with no regard for the reason behind why you’ve made the change or even a wanting to try and understand the why behind it. Just happily sharing their projection on to you - that you’ve made a horrible mistake. If I’m honest, at times, it’s insulting. But I realise it’s not my issue. I am happy with my decision so they can believe whatever they want to believe.

I’ve also had some seriously low moments where I’ve wondered what on earth am I doing. Wondering if I can keep going on - the uncertainty, the fear, the anxiety - all created by the lack of security, the high level of risk and the totally unknown future that And I know that I will continue to have these moments. As that is all part of the magic of choice.

Fear will always hold you back if you let it.

Fear is often the thing that stops us above all else. The fear of the unknown and getting it all so horribly wrong. But sometimes when we push past that fear we can go on to achieve more than we ever thought was imaginable. I sometimes look at where I am now and think - I’ve not really moved forward much in these past 18 months especially but when I write it down like I have shared below, take heed of the challenges and everything else that I have overcome, take a moment to pause and look back at just how far I’ve come.

I wanted as a result to share my journey with you. As a hope to inspire you to make sure that you wake up every morning and chose, rather than waking up every morning to settle:

So here is the journey so far…there’s certainly a long road yet to come!

July 2019 - I was in desperate need of a break. I had got sucked in to a horribly dark hole and I needed something to escape to. People often say that running away is not the answer. However in this situation I needed exactly that, somewhere to escape to. By a wonderful chance of serendipitous events I planned to head to Kenya in November for the escape that was well overdue.

November 2019 - The journey really began. I headed to Kenya to escape life and take a time out. I was away for three weeks in the most nourishing environment where time almost stood still. I could have stayed forever. It was here I completed my (little did I know it) first 200hr Yoga Teacher Training with Karuna Yoga Journeys. Here I was surrounded by some of the most inspirational, empowering, compassionate people I had ever come across. I didn’t even know it was possible to be surrounded by such a supportive, nurturing group of almost total strangers. It was an emotional journey which led me to do a lot of soul searching. A hugely impactful three weeks. Little did I know at the time that this was my ‘golden' ticket’ - the start of the new chapter in my life.

December 2019 - I returned somewhat reluctantly from what had become paradise and thankfully in a somewhat spontaneous last minute decision on a whim and with the kind support of my CEO, I headed off to India. Here, yet more life-changing people and experiences graced my trip. I had my eyes opened wide and was so lovely to experience some of the most incredibly rich tapestries of life. Despite my time being short in India (I could have stayed for a very long time, the beauty the hides beneath the dirty exterior is quite unlike anything I have ever experienced), it was here that the biggest realisation came as to how simplicity in the way that we live and having very little can actually be the catalyst of so much contentment in one’s life.

January 2020 - New Year. New Me. I began my teaching journey - ripping off the band aid and doing my first ever insta live - then going on to teach friends and friends of friends over zoom classes. Hungry to learn as much as I could.

March 2020 - roll on a few months. I was so enamoured by the power of the practice that I had learnt that I went on to do a children’s yoga teacher training with the awesome Bryony Duckitt who set up Yoga Beez. I could see the huge need for adults to engage with this practice and the benefits that it brought individuals when they did with regards to offering a way to heal amongst other things. However I could see the value even more of imparting the tools to children from a young age to help set them up in the best possible way for life’s twists and unexpected turns ahead.

March 2020 - I met some more inspiring, passionate and kind individuals when I again on a last-minute whim joined a mentorship with Sophie Dear Yoga. This beautiful tribe of likeminded souls all on a similar path helped me to further shaping my ideals, and gave me the courage to start believing more in me.  

It was again a result of serendipitous events and chance meetings that here I made a decision to challenge my mind and body and set out on a long journey towards becoming a stunt woman. A way to push my body to my limits and also be committed to something for a long term vision.

August 2020 - I made a big decision to walk away from my job as a Head of Marketing – a field I’d been in for the past 8 years. Giving up a huge amount of security, financially, but also in many other ways. Leaving my job was me backing myself. Telling myself I believed in me and was prepared to make a commitment to my future being the one in charge of it - not one that was defined by others and their perceived limitations of myself and my ability. I chose to embrace the risk and leave the comfort of risk-free.

November 2020 - Having the privilege of being selected as a buddy for Supporting Wounded Veterans, I decided to set up a weekend wellness event in order to fundraise for them. In just over three weeks, I pulled together from concept to marketing & delivery a wellness weekend, with £1700 of prizes up for grabs with a reach of over 500k raising over £6000 for charity with a team of 25 international and highly-regarded wellness coaches. I was working 20-22 hr days for 3 weeks to pull it off. And marketing at the same time as finalising the programme. It’s amazing what one can achieve if you really put your mind to something.

December 2020 - I too yet another huge step towards backing myself and my future - and set up my own business - Taisie Grant Ltd. This did two things. It said to myself I am here and ready to take myself seriously - but it was also me putting myself out to the world. I didn’t hide behind a brand name - I went head first in and put my name on my company. Again - another band-aid ripped off.

December was a big month - another two impactful things happened.

• I was taken on as a mentor for Supporting Wounded Veterans to mentee a wounded veteran who had been medically discharged from service. A HUGE privilege to be working with individuals who have given so much for their country and for us.

• I took on the responsibility for the health hand wellness programme for The Smile Brigade charity. A charity I had helped volunteer with for the whole of lockdown and whom I had got to see in full action for the COVID relief. First hand experiencing the impact the charity had on the vulnerable and elderly and those in need. It was now such a privilege to work alongside the inspirational founder, Monique.

• I continued to invest in myself, my clients and my learning by becoming a Functional Range Conditioning Mobility Specialist.

This bit needs a line for it’s own. Never did I imagine coming in to 2020 I would be celebrating my 30th birthday without my friends and family around me. Covid lockdown three was determined to stop any plans I had to celebrate with those I loved. It was the same for Christmas. I ended up spending Christmas 2020 on my own - again without my family or friends around me. However I made the most of it and went to the charity for the majority of the day, then came home, got dressed up, cooked myself some delicious treats and drank some yummy champagne. The reason I add this in, is not for a pity party to form. It’s because take me back to 2019 and I wouldn’t have been able to cope with the fact that this card was dealt. But this last year taught me all sorts of grit, resilience, vulnerability, courage, self-belief, self-worth and more. Suddenly, being alone at poignant life moments like these is not a deal breaker. It’s actually something perfectly ok. I read a wonderful quote recently from Tom Bilyeu:

“The only thing that really matters is how you feel about YOURSELF when you’re by yourself.”

and this is incredibly true not only for these two events, but for the everyday. The reason I was ok with being without loved ones was because I have learnt to be so unbelievably comfortable with being on my own with myself. Yes there are days when I feel lonely - but they are relatively few and far between. For the most part - I love being in my own company. And as people say - you’re never alone when you’re with yourself - you’re just not with other people.

January 2021 - the learning continued when I invested yet again in myself and my commitment to my clients by doing the LYT Yoga Method Level 1 (another 200hr teaching training) with the insane movement guru and yoga mamma, Lara Heimann.

This five month journey brought me an abundance of knowledge that has made me even more hungry to continue my learning, life-lessons, self-growth, life-changing relationships, reflection, self-analysis and awareness and more connection and feeling of community than I could ever dared to have imagine from people who I have never met in person. I will forever be so grateful for this training and to Lara.

I also invested in myself again in January with a Yoga for sports course with Sarah Ramsden. Sarah has trained Manchester United and Manchester City for the past 12 years - so I’m so grateful to be part of this training and also having the chance to meet other like-minded teachers, international athletes and build yet more connections.

March 2021 - Krav Maga course - this time - skills for me. For my safety. I learnt with DG - an awesome, fun, knowledgeable and highly-skilled self-defence trainer who works with everyone from high-profile individuals to children. If you’re wanting to learn more about how to look after yourself - check him out. Through this process I also met some more wonderful individuals. Each with a different outlook to bring to the table as a result of their life experiences. There is nothing better than taking up something as a way to reach beyond your comfort zone and meet new people to help shape the person you become. You never know what opportunities might always come out it too.

June 2021 - it brings me right up to now - and I have just invested yet again in myself and my clients by choosing to become an Oxygen Advantage Breathwork Advanced Instructor, a course devised by the world-renowned breathwork coach, Patrick McKeown and I couldn’t be more excited to add this in to my repertoire of skills and knowledge that I have gained so far and be able to share the power of breathwork with you all.

It’s a numbers game.

In all of these decisions, there have been choices that I have had to make. It has been a huge financial worry. As simply keeping a roof over my head and feeding myself has been my main concern. However, when you work with something that you are truly passionate about and committed to - all of that fear and worry seems to become so much less scary. Because the momentary fear far outweighs the potential outcome and end goal.

When you make a decision to chose life, there are so many challenges you have to overcome. One of the biggest I have found is that it is simply a numbers game. I have reached out to hundreds of people – often with no response. My 2019 self would have taken this as a huge personal failure. A huge self-reflection of my worth and my value. However my 2021 self made a choice to flip the narrative. Instead of viewing it as failure – I flipped the narrative to simply a numbers game. Look at it as a statistician would. Again - it takes a certain amount of resilience and courage to tell yourself that narrative. But that is the only narrative you should be listening to.

When you chose life, opportunities are everywhere.

Through all of this learning and my stunt training I have learnt invaluable skills; muay thai, krav maga. Soon to begin my Stunt Rally Training, gaining my PADI, gymnastics, stunt riding and my rock climbing qualifications. I know there are yet more adventures to discover, yet more inspirational and life-changing people to meet and build relationships and rapport with, and yet more opportunities and experiences to grow and learn and shape who I become.

The journey is only just beginning. There have been huge highs and mega lows. But that’s all part of the magic. That’s all part the choice. When it gets uncomfortable (and believe me, it does!) – I think to myself – you’ve chosen this. You could also chose tomorrow to go back to life and settle. That is when I know I’ve made the right decision. And you right that uncomfortable wave - and on the other side you’re often presented with the peacefully tranquil millpond.

Part of it comes down to whether;

1. You want to live your life and be the captain of your own ship?

or

2. Whether you want to have an excuse to blame on someone else ‘this didn’t happen to me because of X’.

We all have choices. I truly believe that. Even those who think they don’t.

We get one life and it’s up to you to make the most of yours; if of course, that is what you want. For some people - settling will be the only option that they want to take and if that’s the case, just sit back and let life happen to you.

But I encourage you if you feel settling is not for you, be bold, be vulnerable, be courageous, choose YOU and YOUR STORY. Not someone else’s’.

It will not be plain sailing - there will be huge cliffs faces to climb but at times there will also be huge hills to free-wheel down - wind in your hair, sun on your face, smiles beaming from ear to ear. And I promise, from what I’ve experienced so far, it’s worth it more than anything else I’ve ever done, wanted, chosen or pursued.

I haven’t written this as a way to share with you all what I’ve done - I’ve written is as I really hope you might be able to resonate, with that feeling of fear that you might have deep within, that feels of uncertainty, that feeling of is this right. That track stopping, gut wrenching feeling I used to get about - what on earth am I doing with my life. Everyone might doubt you, but don’t worry about them. That’s there problem. The only person you need to chose for is for yourself.

I choose you, and I hope you will too.

So the question I now ask you is: what’s it going to be? Will you CHOSE or will you settle?

I’d love to hear your thoughts below or please get in touch if you have any questions.

lots of love to you all,

T xx